Theory on the Inherent Age of Men

I have this theory. Most people who know me have heard me wax all philosophical about it (generally when drinking). It is simply this.
Women gradually grow more and more mature as they age. Some women experience a sort of second childhood at some point past 40, especially women who were unduly suppressed early on in their adulthood, women who had children extremely early and never got to naturally experience behaving like a juvenile, or those who went to Catholic school. But on the whole, women continue to grow and develop away from childhood as they get older.
But men? Men have a pre-programmed, built-in age. Each man's age is different. It isn't as though I believe all men are 14. Far from it. The world would REALLY SUCK if that were true, because NOBODY but other 14 year olds even LIKE boys when they are 14. And even that's questionable.
My husband is 8. And here is how I know. First, he owns no porn. Second, if given the choice to watch something on television, and one of the choices happens to be anything in space, no matter how HORRIBLY written it is (Andromeda?) or terribly contrived it is (Stargate?) or just plain campy (Star Trek?), he will sit, glued to the television, compelled to watch. Third, he still owns an old toy called an Armatron. You know, the thing with an arm like a crane that can be moved around to pick something up. And he WILL. NOT. GIVE. IT. UP. And finally, he still sleeps with a dilapidated feather pillow and rice-paper-thin sheet that used to be part of the bedding ensemble at his parents' beachhouse in the 70's when he was a child. The pattern has pink, blue, green, orange, yellow, and white stripes of varying widths. Gah, very hideous! This sheet/blanket set is SACRED and he prefers it not even be washed, for fear of losing one of the 4 remaining feathers inside the pillow. This man holds down a very respectable high-tech job and can talk politics or game theory while drinking scotch into the evening. But his core self... child. Each year on his birthday I ask if he's going to enjoy being 9 this year. He tells me I have it wrong. He is turning 8.
BUT, there are other men, and they exemplify other ages. Our friend Ken - he's really 14. Slightly awkward, a little bit goofy. At least USED to keep very soft magazine porn in the bathroom (before getting married, and I'm sssuuuuurrrreeee he doesn't anymore!). He's the kind of guy who would sit on your hand and fart on it, and think it hysterical. He's a computer geek and he plays drums in a band on the side. Also holds down a very important job, but inside, he is 14.
A guy I worked with a long time ago, (I'll call him Mac), he's 39 going on 17. Walks around the house with a pint of beer on his head, proving to everyone how studly he is for his beer balancing capabilities. He once engaged in a beer shooting contest against my dog. We poured a beer into the dog's bowl, and said GO!, and Mac chugged his beer whilst the dog lapped from the bowl to see who would finish first. The dog did, but it was a close race. Mac also really digs mean practical jokes. Like putting tuna fish into the ductwork of an enemy's house/office, replacing someone's hair conditioner with Nair, putting honey in the shampoo bottle. Just mean shit. And if there's an opportunity to ogle women, Mac is first in line.
Test it. Try it out. How old are the men in your life?!