Fashion Disaster

So, I have been away in another part of the country for a few weeks, and it takes leaving one's home sometimes to discover what all is going on in the world. And one big discovery I have come upon while away is that, not terribly surprising sequentially, the 80's followed the 70's. Now I am not really talking about how the 1970's and 1980's went in order just as a fun fact. I'm talking about fashion. We have had a nice, long run of the 70's in the fashion arena, with the bell-bottoms-renamed-flares, hip-huggers-renamed-ultra-low-rise, the wide collared, embroidered tops that go by the style name of "BOHO". All that takes a certain kind of individual to wear it well, and I'm not exactly one of them. But, I have truly taken a stab at it, and have gotten a bit used to it. I can do the wide legged pants, as they truly do make the legs look thinner and longer. I can hang with at least a below-the-waist pant, and I really love embroidered anything. Just as I'm becoming fashion-savvy, I read in the newspaper that we're standing at the front edge of a new era. The 80's are coming back, and WORSE than EVER. When I was in the 80's, I was a teenager. This was my very OWN era. But even I do not want to see leggings and leg-warmers return to the fashion scene. It's just NOT RIGHT, people. Leg warmers are for DANCERS, who live in ALASKA. They are not for girls in Texas to don over their leggings! Let's just pray that stirrup pants do NOT come back in style (ew!), and that sweatshirts maintain their collars, such that they do not need to be ripped and off the shoulder a la Flashdance. And tapered-leg pants? Hello? I see what Stacey on TLC's "What Not to Wear" has been saying all along, about tapered leg pants. They truly do look like you put a rubber band at the ankle and filled them with mashed potatoes. And polo shirts worn double, two different colors with the collars standing straight up, that is just hot, not to mention stupid. I only hope the mullet and mall bangs don't make a frightening revival as well. I think if this is truly the next fashion era, I want to go to sleep and wake up again in about 10 years. However, with Hootie in my life, I'm compelled to stay awake and make sure she doesn't get sucked into the vortex that was the 80's.